We spoke

I'm trying to be strong like Rani tells me. She reminds me of how strong I was the other night when I had my epiphany lol. Well he finally emailed me. I'm glad he's alive! lol The conversation was like small talk, hi, how are you, what have ou been up to? Today I initiated the conversation and I said good morning ..he said hello..i said how are you..he said fine. And he didn't ask me how I was so I told him myself and thanked him for asking hehehe.
I went to the mall today with my friends here in Venezuela. It was me Sophie Marie and Fernando. We were helping him buy some clothes and we also bought a few things for ourselves. Gosh, I really needed the retail therapy because I was tearing up in the mall just thinking about Asad. How could I let someone else hold me and kiss me? I felt so guilty, and so gross. I just wanted to erase that day and I wanted to be with Asad again.
Ofourse, I hadddd to walk into a store where the owner and a customer were speaking in Arabic. I thought to myself, you've got to be kidding me. Although arabs are common here, It isn't common for me to run into them I guess, for a lack of a bettern term. Probably because I had no friends here before, I never went out and even now they just aren't a part of my social circle here. So yeah, their conversation, the little I understood with their spanrabic, was enough to take me back. Even without understanding a word I loved it. I swear if I closed my eyes I knew Asad was standing right next to me. Thank God I didn't burst into tears. Actually, I was happy.
So during my sad moments I emailed him. And really he comforted me and told me not to feel guilty, he kept telling me I was a good person and I shouldn't feel bad or blame myself. He said I deserve a good person (why can't he be my good person?).