A few days later we went on a date. Oh my Gosh. A date lol. I don't date. It makes me uncomfortable. The way I see it a date is like saying I find you attractive but now I'm going to see if I like how you are inside. It is too much pressure for me and way more insulting to be found unattractive for who I am instead of what I look like. I also don't want to cause anyone that kind of anguish.
It was me, him, Adam and Gisela. He picked me up and Gisela and Adam met us there. It was at Cafe, I think it was also in Gemmayze but I can't remember the name. It's famous because the guy always screams WELCOME! I was so glad it was a group thing, I would have died if we were alone. I don't know how I'd control my face from revealing to Asad that I was actually a lobster dressed as a girl.
After the dinner is when it all began. We decided to hang out alone. I was comfortable! Somehow he figured it out (probably not consciously lol). He made me feel okay with hanging out with him alone. YAY! We drove, I'm not sure where, it was near the water and many cars were there, and it is not the area where those really cool rocks are. We talked about everything (of course right, this is what happens, people share their entire life in one night). Family, "friends", heartbreak, how many exs we have. It's hard to explain how much we shared without divulging too much about his personal life (and my own). He shared things with me that night and throughout our time in Beirut that he has never told anyone. Gosh, I don't know if it was this night or the following night we hung out and did basically the same thing, but we were talking. I told him, my ex, never said I was beautiful, and he looked at me, oh my God, he looked at ME with the most beautiful and admiring eyes I had ever seen and he said You are so beautiful Eva. I'm sorry I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but you are. And was it this night or the next that he said There's something I want to do. AHH! I was like, no dont do that, I don't give you permission. lol. He wanted to kisss me! My heart was being assaulted by a flutter of butterflies. Don't look at his lips, don't look at his face, face forward, do not let him get close, keep talking, changeee the subject, HURRY! *Phew* he respected my wishes.
We went out one night to Jbeil? Byblos? I think? Idk babe where was it again? We went to this area many times, or to two similar places so I get confused. Or is it the same? Lol I'm horrible. We had dinner, and he would show me how to eat things, and sometimes even put the food on my plate (adorable). The waitress thought I was Lebanese (hehe, random fact). When we were leaving, we were walking to the car and the streets were tight with the cars passing by. We were also going downward on a slope, so I grabbed his arm. I didn't even notice I did that until later. It was so cute and he was so happy I did it (he told me later another day).
- Every time we were near my own, I would recognize the area and tell him Noooo! I don't want to go home, stay with me, stay. Don't leave me. It would crack him up and I know he too didn't want to take me home.
- I was so shy with him in the beginning, I could barely look at him. He loved making me feel even more uncomfortable by telling me the cutest things in arabic. <3
- He texted me while he was at work, he would call me from his office just to say *cute arabic accent* Good Morning, to tell me he missed me and to see what I was up to. We would hang out everyday. Oh I forgot to mention that by this time I moved to Achrafieh. I lived with a french guy, an American and a Canadian girl.
If a light were to appear out of nothing and shine upon you. A strong, bright, warm, beautiful, loving light, you wouldn't be able to turn away from it. You wouldn't be able to stop looking to stop enjoying it, to stop wanting to be in its pressence. Asad, has this light in him. I hope I die of a heatstroke.
I found a card, a card I never sent him for his birthday (sent flowers instead)
"You're the One" by Hallmark? lol
The thing about you is, you're fun. You make laugh. You make me feel more alive. And, okay, you make me a little crazy sometimes. But there are these moments in my mind, crystal-clear images of you and me and how we fit together, and it all makes such perfect sense, and I know what I want. I want time with you. I want to hear you whisper and talk and yell, I want to touch you so softly it puts you to sleep, I want to fall in love so deeply with you that even when it's not all fun, I can look at you as I do now and say, as I do now, "Yes, you're the one."
I'm going to stop here because I can't really explain how I fell in love. It was everything. Timing, his heart, his mind, his cuteness towards me, his happiness, his smile, his companionship, his embrace, his yummy little kisses, the things we spoke about, the way we argued, his voice, his kind words, the way he looked at me, soo much. Falling in love with him was so effortless, but I can't tell you how or why. I was so happy with him even when I was miserable with him.
No comments:
Post a Comment