Change of Plans

So as of now, it looks like I won't be going to Lebanon. I was talking to my mom about it today and she doesnt want to pay the difference to make it a round trip ticket. She was like, two months is too long..onemonth. But I had already reduced it from three months to two, I thought it was a bargain. I even have places to live. She gives me about a zillion excuses n also throws in, You are chasing this guy, and he doesnt even love you. Ouch mom, It's not like I even talk to you about him. I don't have any money, I'm broke, I know I know, I should probably get a job and save money and then apply to jobs over there n thennn go. Or save money and go to visit.
Maybe shes right maybe im JUST chasing Asad. And from the looks of it, he doesn't seem to love me anymore. I sent him an email asking him to please tell me if he wants me to visit. And then I sent him one telling him to forget it. I know myself ( or atleast somewhat..lol) and even if he's simply polite or respectful when he sees me and talks to me, I'm going to fall for him again(or deeper?). And, he wont. lol. I wish he told me I should move on. Then at least I would have closure. Damn, that's too bad, I had a wholeeeeeeeee idea and vision for this blog lol. Like a Soap, like reality tv, reality blog! lol. Now what am I gonna do with this title, this email, etc, it has nothing to do with..i mean it will eventually have nothing to do with Asad anymore.

Ugh, my parents(more like my mom) just wants me to stay here. Before, she didnt want me to move to NYC she said it was too far..and now shes like...go to NYC..why do you wanna go so far to Lebanon for its too far. I wonder if I tell her im thinkign China, if she will insist I move to Lebanon?

Tough one huh?

DAMNIT, where are you Prince Ali, I mean Prince Charming*